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[jabberstocky] 04/11/2003 14:03

Not sure about the significance of Scotty's moles on the bum, but the question of whether to remove a mole, leaving asthetic judgment aside, relates to the fortune dependant on its location. If on the right forehead it is said to signify riches and power, on the left misfortune, and cruelty in the centre. A mole on the front of the neck signifies good fortune, but on the back of the neck the gallows. The trick then is to encourage the mole to move from the garden to the fortunate location.

[sugarbeast] 04/11/2003 13:59

I am glad you recognise the greatness of the mole song.

[scotty500] 04/11/2003 13:51

Should the header read :
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sugarbeast - 04 Nov'03 - 12:01

As you may remember,I had a [thrush] problem a few months back.That appears to have been solved,as I don't see them anymore or see evidence of their presence.

My new problem is moles.My [ass] looks like the surface of the moon[or S7's face],with lots of [piles] appearing on a daily basis.

Whilst I have no desire to play [pick then off my ass],I would like to see the occasional patch of [smooth skin].We are surrounded by [clingon's and bum hairs],so why can't the little blighters [surface there where they are less visiable]

I like moles...who could ever forget the 'I am a mole and I live in a hole' song ?

But I am a mole nimby.

How can I get rid of the little fekkers ?

[sugarbeast] 04/11/2003 13:49

thanks Z...food for thought.

I am not sure what the neighbours would think of mustard gas though.

where do you live scotty ?

[scotty500] 04/11/2003 13:41

Can you eat moles ?

[zorija] 04/11/2003 13:36

Some interesting posts...

There are several ways to deter the blighters apart from the sonic booms...

I live in the country and I am visted annually by the aforesaid animals. In a good season I catch two dozen. There are many ways some tried and tested others not.
In order of my preferences..
1) Go off to the hardware store and buy a traditonal neck breaker. For the animal lover this just gives them a bad headache. This is highly effective on the shallow runs more difficult in the deep channels that erupt suddenly.

2) You can get smoke bombs from the local garden centres. I have not had much success with them. If you have agricultural contacts especially good are the farmers then ask him/her to get you some Phostoxin. This again is extremely humane, in fact, it's based on the mustard gas used in the First World War.
Needless to say you need to be slightly careful and read the instructions - lighting this in your sitting room will do you no favours.

3) The mixing of the oil, washing up liquid and water is a pesticide and very effective in the control of green fly - although do not use on bright days as this will burn the foliage. Cfol was close - it is rumoured that if you urinate down the hole this will act as a deterrent. I suppose if you've had a bottle of Jack Daniels the night before this could have the desired effects.

4) Euphorbia lathyrus - an easy annual to grow reputedly deters them. There again a lawn full of these may not be the desired sight.

Food for thought and good luck in your endeavours.

Z

[simeon7] 04/11/2003 13:16

LoL!

Get a local "well hung" gent to lob his tackle in the hole.

It's much more effective than a garden hose, and less messy.

[sugarbeast] 04/11/2003 13:10

cfol...I would need a severe dose of diarrhoea to make that work,and have a good aim.
The diarrhoea shouldn't be a problem,I'll get Mrs Beast to cook one of her specials,but I'd hate to miss and ruin the 4 square inches of quality turf I have remaining.

[cfol] 04/11/2003 13:08

Poo on top of each mound. Will at least send a strong message to the enemy...

No idea if it will work, but looking at the responses you have received so far, I doubt anyone else does either.

Let us know the results.

[sugarbeast] 04/11/2003 13:08

Homer...you sound like a professional mole marauder.My cousin is a pilot in the RAF,so I'll ask him.

[simeon7] 04/11/2003 13:06

Morning Scotty love. Hope you are well.

This is a serious thread. Please do not trash it.

[mr homer j simpson] 04/11/2003 13:03

Get a Tornado to do a fly-by near your house. Make sure they break the speed of sound just as they go over your house.

Cheers,
HJS.

P.S. Tape up your windows........

[jami2] 04/11/2003 13:02

Will watch this thread with interest. When you have found a solution that works, please update. I have a huge moonscape created by moles in my garden.

[mr homer j simpson] 04/11/2003 13:02

sugarbeast, from a jet engine !

[sugarbeast] 04/11/2003 13:00

If I could see them,I would!

but all they leave is a mound of earth and the tunnels are invisible.

they are very clever and as the enemy,I am treating them with respect.
somebody told me a sonic boom works,but I don't know where to buy them.

[scotty500] 04/11/2003 12:57

sugar - you're right I knew what I meant and it sounded funny ! Could you not thread some barbed wire now the holes ???

[sugarbeast] 04/11/2003 12:55

I've read about people like you in the daily mail.



but I might give it a go.

[mr homer j simpson] 04/11/2003 12:54

sugarbeast, not if it's close enough.

[sugarbeast] 04/11/2003 12:54

scotty...that was quite funny for you.

but it still wasn't funny.


JohnBoy...thank you for sharing that with me.Does she have a track record of mole-murdering ?

[sugarbeast] 04/11/2003 12:53

Homer...won't that just give them a headache ?

they are very small,and their tunnels are not even the size of a small lady's fist.