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[jonjonck] 02/3/2024 17:20

I accidentally passed my wife a glue stick instead of her chap stick.

She’s still not talking to me.

[jonjonck] 02/3/2024 12:13

LOL and Good Morning.

[2gekko] 02/3/2024 09:23

Morning

Good to see the gags on here and I do love a chuckle

I had to face a tough choice last night, one of those big bottles of beer or a woman, I went for the beer as figured it would not change its mind once I'd got it's top off

[rovi70] 02/3/2024 00:41

A man has been shot with a starter pistolThe police believe it may be race-related...Are supply teachers responsible for the increase in drugs in school?

[rovi70] 02/3/2024 00:32

Muchas gracias mi hombres

[gateside] 02/3/2024 00:21

It translates to, "congratulations to him"

[jonjonck] 01/3/2024 22:20

Almost sounds rude in Spanish but am sure it means congratulations which I will second.

[gateside] 01/3/2024 18:14

Rovi...Felicitaciones a el :)

[rovi70] 01/3/2024 17:45

Great day today My son who resides in Spain has at the age of 50 has just completed and past a masters degree and he had to do it in Spanish with all the complexity of an exam in a university speak Spanish. So happy bunny must have got the brains from wife.

[rovi70] 01/3/2024 14:49

If Britain is going to be invaded can it at least be by the Romans, we desperately need the roads resurfacing!

[jonjonck] 01/3/2024 14:18

Just scrubbed my path in the back garden ..in the sun and I am freezing despite now being 6 degrees.

[jonjonck] 01/3/2024 11:49

Back from weekly shopping. Nice and sunny but a big zero degrees.

[gateside] 01/3/2024 11:24

Beautiful sunny day up here.Doing more tree pruning today.

[2gekko] 01/3/2024 10:59

Morning

I am safe for another four years then, nothing but rain here, I really wanted to go for a walk but I am not going in this weather

[jonjonck] 01/3/2024 08:14

Good Morning.
You can come out now Gekkers, the coast is clear.

Hard frost again this morning, but looks like it will be a mixed sunny day.

[2gekko] 29/2/2024 22:48

It's a bit cold behind the sofa but I daren't reach for the thermostat

[gateside] 29/2/2024 21:45

2 hrs 15 minutes to go, then you're safe!

[2gekko] 29/2/2024 20:41

Lol!! Love it

Any idea what time it is, I'm still behind the sofa

[jonjonck] 29/2/2024 20:07

I told my wife I'd heard a rumour that our postman had slept with every woman in the street except for one

She said, "I bet it's that stuck up so-and-so at number 23!"

[2gekko] 29/2/2024 15:16

Rovi you have competition!! Love the peanuts one lol

The A is patrolling outside, it ain't half dark in here with all the curtains closed, the other leg has got cramp now

[jonjonck] 29/2/2024 12:57

The A has just emailed me to ask if you are at home as she is not getting a reply and hopes you are OK 2G. I emailed back to say you are fine and just resting behind the sofa. The A is on her way over.....

[jonjonck] 29/2/2024 12:55

An old lady is on a bus and she offers the driver some peanuts. The driver takes them and eats them. Five minutes later, she offers him more, and a handful more every five minutes.
The bus driver asks her why she doesn't eat them. She replies that she can't because she has no teeth.
When the driver asks her why she buys them she replies,
"I just like sucking the chocolate off them"